What To Do After No Contact When Your Ex Contacts You? (2023)

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Knowing exactly what to do after no contact when your ex contacts you is ridiculously important if you have any hopes of winning him or her back.

You’ve just worked so hard to stay away from your ex for so long. Don’t let it be for naught. Here’s what to do.

Don’t be overly eager to reply. Maintain a positive and upbeat vibe without bringing up the breakup. Focus on having a good chat followed by an invitation to hang out.

If you can adhere to these rules, chances are such that your ex will say yes to meeting and eventually rekindling the romance.

When you are in the company of your ex, focus on targeting those memories and experiences that trigger emotional attraction and attachment to you.

Let’s take a closer look at this.

1. Don’t reply immediately

One of the best ways to build anticipation in someone is to make them wait for something they want.

When you reach out to someone, it’s to communicate. By not replying immediately to your ex, you are systematically creating anticipation and desire.

After some time has passed, your ex is bound to think about you and wonder why you haven’t responded or replied.

At which point, reaching out will excite him or her because they waited and the possibility of not hearing from you crossed their mind.

That’s usually an effect caused by the no contact rule which is one of the reasons why it works.

2. Maintain a positive and upbeat vibe

Breakups are hard and often imprint the pain of separation onto the mind and heart of both parties involved.

(Video) 3 Words You MUST NEVER Say to Your EX after NO CONTACT | Communicating with Your EX after a Breakup

Rather than remind your ex of the hardship and reasons for splitting up, give them a reason to think about you in a positive light.

People reach out to their exes to either validate their decision to leave you or to reconsider breaking up.

If you project the same demeanor during the breakup, it validates their decision.

But if you were to appear more healthy, happy and put together, your ex is going to see you in a new light.

Enough time has probably passed that they no longer feel fixated on what was wrong with you or the relationship.

Behaving in a positive manner will just re-enforce good feelings and vibes which is the perfect environment for attraction and romance to blossom.

3. Don’t bring up the breakup

I want to affirm the importance of avoiding the topic of the breakup because it is important in the grand scheme of things.

Unless your ex brings it up, don’t talk about it.

By focusing on having a good time and living in the moment, you prevent yourself from getting emotionally worked up to the point of acting impulsively.

Impulsivity caused by desperation and sadness often result in poor decisions that ruin all chances of reattraction.

If your goal is to re-attract your ex, stick to acts and topics that encourage attraction and humor, not stress and uncertainty.

Bring up a good memory or experience from the relationship rather than the breakup.

4. Meet and have fun

Far too many people talk their ex’s straight out of liking them again by texting too much or talking on the phone all day.

In-person interaction is the best way of stimulating attraction and sexual chemistry.

(Video) What If Your Ex Texts You During No Contact?

You can assess your ex’s behavior around you, identify signs of attraction and read subtle cues that give you a deeper insight into how they actually feel about you and their intentions of reaching out.

Good feelings multiply the more you smile, laugh and feel cared for by someone pleasant in person.

Focus on having a great time and the romance will naturally cultivate itself again.

Go about it like you’re casually dating.

You won’t get hung up on small setbacks or freak out when your ex subtly tests you to determine whether you’re actually this great again or putting up a facade.

Check out this list of fun date ideas, you’ll love them.

5. Don’t bring up getting back together

What I don’t encourage is the idea of you, the one who was dumped, bringing up the topic of being exclusive again.


Well because your ex left you. They thought you weren’t good enough to be with. So now they should be rewarded for it by you pursuing them? I don’t think so.

If you give your ex all the power of deciding the status of your relationship, you set yourself up for possibly being let down all over again.

What I like about this approach is that your ex doesn’t look at you as desperate or easy to get.

The message it sends across is that you are not diminished whether your ex wants to reunite or not.

Also, there must be consequences for ending a relationship with you or else your ex will never truly respect of value you in the future.

I tend to believe that people don’t appreciate things that come easy.

(Video) What to Do When Your Ex Contacts You During No Contact

6. Don’t rush into a relationship again

Often, getting back with an ex doesn’t have a happy ending.

Statistically, more people break up the second time around than stay together.

That says alot.

Breakups tend to result in a lot of self discovery and objectivity.

As much as we love someone, when enough time passes, we outgrow the relationship or our exes.

Problems that existed before often come back.

And that’s okay. Which is why you should take it slow. Spend more time with your ex,go on dates and think about it really hard.

If it feels right to you, then proceed. If your gut feels differently, pay attention to it.

7. Don’t chase your ex at all

Don’t be alarmed if your ex is hot and cold, it happens more frequently than you would imagine.

Rather than freak out and start chasing them, lay back and wait.

Sometimes it just a test to see whether you are actually hung up or desperate.

If your ex doesn’t reply to a text or message, don’t double text at all.

Let them be the one to reach out after ignoring you or not replying.

This will assert the idea that you are not desperate, clingy or needy of their attention.

(Video) What To Do If Your Ex Contacts You During No Contact

If anything, when they reach out again, their level of interest will be higher and their defenses lower.

8. Show no signs of jealousy or insecurity

Have you ever had an ex reach out to you after no contact and despite seeming interested, they bring up seeing other people?

You may get jealous or insecure but don’t react. Show no signs of it. Here’s why – if your ex was so happy with whoever they’re seeing, would they be reaching out to you?

Hell no!

They’d be too love struck and busy with whomever it is they’re dating.

So when your ex is reaching out, there’s more to the story than meets the eye.

I’m not saying that this is the expected outcome all the time. Perhaps sometimes exes reach out just to catch up.

But if you suspect even a little that they’re interested in you, then it’s more likely that their dating life isn’t as amazing as they would lead you to believe.

Trust in a bigger picture

I genuinely believe that every relationship we have is destined and chosed for a reason.

It may be disheartening at first but not all relationships are meant to last a life time. In fact, most of the relationships you have in your life will end.

But in it’s ending, the beginning of a new relationship is born.

Let each relationship be an opportunity for you to grow as a person and partner.

By the time you reach the story of your life partner, you’ll be ready for him or her. And it will be truly spectacular.

With that being said, I hope you know exactly what to do after no contact.

(Video) What to Do When Your Ex Texts You During No Contact!

Be sure to let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section below.


What to do when your ex calls you after no contact? ›

Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. Don't get comfortable and slide back into old habits. Take your time when it comes to responding.

How do you respond when your ex reaches out? ›

Respond casually

If you don't have feelings for your ex, but you had an amicable breakup, you could respond with a simple, “Thanks for reaching out. I hope all is well.”

Should I respond to my ex during no contact? ›

Doing No Contact Correctly Doesn't Mean Ignoring Your Ex

If your ex texts you during no contact, you should text back politely and casually. If your ex calls during no contact, it's somewhat different from a text because you won't have as much time to carefully think about and craft your response.

How long should ex no contact rule last? ›

One effective approach is the 'No-Contact Rule' for returning to your Ex. This strategy refers to entirely cutting off your communication, detaching yourself from that toxic member of your life and moving on from your ex following the breakup. Usually, the no-contact period must extend for at least 30-60 days.

What does ignoring your ex do to them? ›

Your ex may feel like you are stronger than they thought you were, and they may try to win you back after you start ignoring an ex that dumped you. Overall, an ex could become interested in knowing more about how you are doing and what's going on in your life. Not being aware could cause them to be curious about you.

Will ignoring an ex bring them back? ›

In most cases, they don't. That is, most of the time, your ex will stop reaching out to you completely if you ignore them and then you are in a difficult, tricky position. From there, you will have fewer options to getting your ex back. If you are being told to ignore your ex during no contact, don't do it!

Why is my ex breadcrumbing me? ›

They might have an innocent reason, like a desire for friendship they don't quite know how to communicate. Sometimes, though, breadcrumbing from an ex can also suggest an attempt to maintain control or rekindle your interest, particularly if you ended the relationship.

Should I respond when ex texts me? ›

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how you want to deal with a text from an ex. Is It OK To Not Respond To An Ex? It is perfectly appropriate not to respond to an ex. In fact, in many circumstances, you might find that it's best you don't respond, especially if it was a toxic relationship.

Do dumpers miss their ex during no contact? ›

For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting. For others, all consuming. In all though, yes, there's a high likelihood that the dumper will miss the ex at some point.

How the dumper feels during no contact? ›

What do dumpers feel during no contact? During no contact, dumpers initially feel a sense of relief that the relationship is over. Then they start getting curious about why their ex never called. Then they start stalking the ex on social media to see how they are doing without them.

Why does my ex come back after no contact? ›

He may come back after no contact because he has improved. The fight you had was probably about some of his behavior. The breakup was the opportunity he needed to work on himself. After no contact here, the man's mind may have worked tirelessly to figure out how to improve.

What does it mean when an ex calls you? ›

Your ex might have contacted you because they want to make sure that you are doing well. They might be feeling lonely and wondering how you are doing. They might have been thinking about you and wanted to call or text you.

What does it mean when your ex keeps calling you? ›

Another common reason why an ex keeps contacting you could actually be rooted in possessiveness. Though it might not be malicious, your ex might be trying to remain in contact with you because they struggle with the concept letting you go, even after they pulled the plug on your relationship.


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Author: Prof. Nancy Dach

Last Updated: 18/09/2023

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