STOP WAITING For His Text & DO THIS Instead... | Matthew Hussey (2023)


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Your phone buzzes. It’s a text from him ;)

You can feel your stomach flip over with excitement. Every message he sends is like sweet honey for your brain. “Damn”, you think, “I’m an addict.”

And then you fire a cute message back. And you wait...and wait…

“Why isn’t he replying?” you want to scream to your friend on the couch next to you. But she’s too busy with her phone to notice.

You try to shift focus, but you obsessively check for a text every 30 seconds.

Sound familiar?

We’ve all had this agony of “anxious waiting” with someone we like. It’s distracting, it’s unattractive, and it drains you of your peace of mind every minute you sit in limbo.

If you’re sick of waiting for his text and want to finally take back your power, watch this...

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This is a video for anyone who has experienced this moment.

You are waiting for a text message, or for someone to call you back, or someone to ask you on a date again, or to express that they still love you., That, they're, thinking of you.

But right now your phone is blank.

There is no message.

There is no phone.


There is no person giving you that validation that you're looking for.

And the result is that you are anxiously waiting.

I believe that this anxious, waiting when we're sat by our phones, staring at it, waiting for this person to show up, and reassure us that we are still being thought of, that we're still attractive is responsible for so much unhappiness on any given day.

The problem with waiting for someone's reassurance is that it doesn't last., You know, someone could text you right now, and you'd feel good, you'd feel elated that they reached out to you, but that feeling lasts minutes or hours before the anxiety creeps back in again.

And you start asking the same questions.


They thinking about me, now? Do.

They like me as much as they did yesterday? And.

So on..

So, there has to be another way, and it can't just be distracting ourselves, because I think that's a lot of people's answer is..

Well, if you're feeling that anxiety, if you're feeling like you're thinking about someone too much..., Just distract yourself.

But we all know that that's paper thin, 'cause, you could be with your friends doing something that should be fun, and you, once again, you find yourself, checking your phone every three seconds to see.

If those three little dots are coming up on your phone that show that hope is on the way;.

They are about to text.


We can not live like that.

And it also makes us bring bad energy to the people around us.


Not about distraction.

It's about something deeper than that.

The cure is find something meaningful for you to do right, now., Go deeper on something.

Now that could be to read a book that brings meaning to you, or that is really teaching you about something that you're curious about.

It could be deepening a skill set you have by focusing on something difficult and practicing it.

It could be losing yourself in a project, or something that's related to one of your passions.


You can lose yourself for an hour in something that gives your life color and meaning outside of that relationship..

Now you're into a better state.

Because I know, there can literally be a thirty minute to a one hour difference between feeling despairing that someone isn't reaching out to you, and actually feeling pretty great, because you did something meaningful with the last hour that has made you feel full, that has given you purpose, and allows you to come back to that person with a great energy.


What I'm gonna anticipate is gonna be the problem for a lot of people watching this video.

You may not know what to turn to in those moments that is gonna give you meaning.

You may not right now have books.

You love losing yourself, in, or skill sets that you're set on practicing or mastering, or work projects or passions that give your life, meaning outside of this relationship that you're focused on.

And this is what's.

So interesting about this concept to me is that we often relate that anxious, waiting to insecurity, to a lack of confidence.

And yes, on some level, it's tied to that.

And you know, twice a year I run an entire five and a half day retreat specifically to transform people's confidence.

But what people forget, what they don't realize..

One of the other things I do on the Retreat is change people's sense of purpose., Give them, something or many things that they can focus on that they can connect with that reinforce their sense of richness in life.

That, give them a focus, a burning desire to work on something., To train, a part of themselves., To, educate themselves., To, learn something new.

To, try something new.

A sense of fulfillment and purpose that has nothing to do with their love life, and I think that's.

One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.


The Retreat removes your anxiety by doing both of these things.

Making you as confident and as high-value as you can possibly be, but also showing you how to build a rich and full life that is full, even when you're away from somebody., You, don't feel like you're deficient, simply because someone's not texting you back right now, or not calling you, and that's, the greatest way to be attractive to that person in the first place.

I could give you a hundred different lines to use.

But the greatest attraction is when we meet someone who has this full and complete life that doesn't depend on us, and they are their own person in their own right.


You wanna do this for yourself, if you are sick and tired of waiting around anxiously for somebody to reach out, to validate you, to text you, to call you so that you can feel good, and you wanna feel good right now so that you can bring your best energy to that person when you do engage with them..

Try, the Retreat.

I'm gonna leave a link here, right? Now., Check.

It out for yourself.

I will see you as always in next week's video.

But please.

Before you go check out the Retreat., I know, I've said it to you before.

I'm gonna say it to you again., If, I think something's important, I'm gonna keep saying it, and saying, it, and saying it until you do it, because I know, it's gonna help you.

So check it out for yourself.

I hope, you'll try the Retreat program, and I'll.

See you soon.


How do you stop waiting for a guy to text you? ›

An effective way of breaking a bad habit such as waiting for a text message is to become disinterested. There's one thing you must do to achieve it: be curious. Once you feel the overwhelming desire to look at your phone, stop for a second and observe every sensation and emotion you are feeling at the moment.

How do I stop waiting for a guy to reply? ›

Rather than waiting for your crush's message, set your phone down in a place where you can't see it. Try to stay busy doing other activities, such as reading a chapter in a book, watching an episode of your favorite TV show, or playing a level in a video game. After you finish, check your phone again.

What does a guy think when you stop texting him? ›

They might take you not texting them as a rejection, and only pull away more as a result of it. They will feel insecure, believe you don't really care and that you are anyway better off without them. An emotionally unavailable man will start sending you subtle signals that he misses you, though.

Should you always wait for him to text you? ›

Give it a few days (or even a week).

It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing.

Will a guy text you everyday if he's interested? ›

How guys text when they like you can vary, (and dating tips for texting will vary depending who you ask), but texting every day is a sure sign that you are on the same page. If a guy texts you every day, even if you're the one initiating conversation, he is definitely interested.

How do I stop obsessing over his texts? ›

13 Ways To Calm Your Dating Anxiety And Stop Your Texting...
  1. Exercise. Exercising is a good way to put the focus back on yourself. ...
  2. Learn a new language. ...
  3. Collect indoor plants. ...
  4. Volunteer. ...
  5. Get to Know yourself intimately. ...
  6. Write a journal. ...
  7. Join an improv class. ...
  8. Read empowering books.

How long is too long to wait for a reply from a guy? ›

A week gives the person enough time to thoughtfully respond.

Even though it's a little old-fashioned, some people will wait 3 days after a date to text you back to make you miss them more. Waiting any longer than a week could be a sign they're not interested, and it might be best to let the conversation die out.

What to do when a guy takes hours to reply? ›

If he takes more than 12 hours to reply, you could always send him a follow-up text to ensure he got your first one. Some jobs really take up much of one's time. Texting and response time would be the first thing that they should bring up too when the two of you are dating.

Why you shouldn t reply straight away? ›

In terms of texting, replying too soon (although great at first) over time can cause the other person to start to see you as less value. This results in the person having less of an urge to text you.

Will he care if I don't text him? ›

They may feel like you are taking no interest in talking to them because someone else has your attention. If you are into a guy, show him that you are. Not texting back is not a cute tactic to make a guy like you more. For most, it does the opposite, and they lose feelings because of the lack of communication.

Will not texting a guy make him want you? ›

Spacing out conversations instead of texting all the time can build attraction, especially when first meeting someone. Sending more than 1 followup will not only make you seem desperate, but could also annoy the other person if they don't want to talk.

How to make him miss you? ›

10 proven ways to make a guy miss you
  1. Deliberately leave things behind. ...
  2. Give him some personal space. ...
  3. Make him wait before replying his texts. ...
  4. Take things slow. ...
  5. Wear a unique perfume. ...
  6. Add some mystery to your experiences together. ...
  7. Have adventures with him (and your friends)
Jan 18, 2018

Why do guys go quiet for a few days? ›

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.

How often should a guy you're seeing text you? ›

It varies, but 1 to 3 texts per day is common.

The important part of a new relationship is getting to know each other in person. Texting is fine, but you'll probably make a deeper, more lasting connection if you save the deep talks for your face to face meetups.

How to ask a guy if he's still interested without sounding needy? ›

Step 4: Go for the Subtle Ask

Ask to spend time together or hang out like you normally do. Then, when you're together and he's comfortable, let him know you like him (but keep it light). Let him know what specifically you like: “I really appreciate how supportive of me you are.”

What is dry texting? ›

Close Settings. As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.

Can a guy like you and not text you? ›

Can he? Yes, very much so. He could be scared of texting you too much and coming across as desperate. So he may not be texting you because he does not want to come across that way.

Do guys text a girl everyday if they just want to be friends? ›

If he texts you every day, it means you have a close relationship. You're an important person in his life if he's texting you daily. This doesn't necessarily mean he's interested in you romantically, but he very well may have a crush on you if his messages tend to be flirty and playful.

How long is acceptable to wait for a reply? ›

Time-sensitive messages should be answered as soon as possible, while you have more time for nonurgent ones. But not that long. Gottsman, speaking "from a polite factor" believes you should respond within a day. "That sounds like a very long time for some people but we all have busy lives."

Is it normal for a guy to take days to reply? ›

Often, men take time to open up and respond in such cases. They might be interested in you, but they are simply being cautious and taking the time to respond and reciprocate. You need to be patient with them.

How long is too long for a text response? ›

A General Rule of Thumb

A text should be answered within a couple of hours when there is not a time restraint. Keep in mind that if someone is working or exercising or basically out in the field, it may take longer for them to respond.

Do guys come back after the slow fade? ›

It really depends on why the guy has pulled the slow fade. If he did it to see if the grass was greener with someone else, but ended up regretting that choice he may come crawling back. Other reasons to return might be general doubts about his reasons for ending the relationship or feeling of guilt around it.

Why do guys take 3 days to reply? ›

He could simply be busy or have intended to respond to your text but never got time for it. or, He could be worried that if he starts the texting conversation then he'll end up having to go back and forth with you all day. Many guys don't want to get into a long conversation that lasts all day.

Are quick replies a turn off? ›

Out of 132 people who participated, 89% (118 people) voted that texting back quickly is a TURN-ON and 11% (14 people) voted TURN-OFF. One voter let me know she tapped “off” by accident so these results are slightly skewed, but still—the results are clearly in favor of texting back fast being a turn on.

Why is he active but not texting me? ›

Most of the time, when a guy doesn't respond to a text immediately, he's just busy. Either he is busy with work, or maybe he's visiting family. He could also be running some household errands. Give him some time, and he'll get back to you.

Why would a guy who likes you ignore your texts? ›

He's just not that into you. The truth is, when a man likes you, he'll let you know. It can be a difficult truth to accept. We often choose to believe that someone is just busy or naturally 'bad' at texting, which is why they are ignoring us.

How do you know he is thinking about me? ›

He asks you lots of questions.

If he wants to know more about you, it's likely that he's been thinking about you. He may also ask you questions or get your opinion about something to see what you think, which is another major clue that you're often on his mind. If he says, “I was wondering what you like to do for fun.

Should I text him or leave it alone? ›

You should just text him first to find out where he is truly at. If he responds and makes an effort to keep the conversation going, it means you still have a chance. But if he gives you one word replies or doesn't respond at all, then you don't have to wonder any longer: It's time to move on.

Will leaving him on read make him want me? ›

So, despite being a bit shady, both experts agreed that leaving someone on read can definitely work to make you seem more desirable — but it can be a mixed bag further down the line. Keegan explains that, as a seduction strategy, keeping someone on read can work. However, it can also appear like a red flag about you.

Does ignoring a guy make him want you more? ›

Ignoring a guy is one of the surefire ways to get his attention, as he would at most times try to win your attention back. However, ignoring alone doesn't put you at the forefront of his thoughts and make you desirable.

How to get his attention by ignoring him? ›

You will be well on your way to knowing how to ignore a guy in no time!
  1. Keep busy. ...
  2. Talk to someone else. ...
  3. Demand better. ...
  4. Leave your phone alone. ...
  5. Make him a little jealous. ...
  6. Mute him on social media. ...
  7. Turn off notifications. ...
  8. Focus on yourself.

Will not texting him make him miss me? ›

The best way to make a guy miss you is to pull away. Refrain from texting or calling him for the smallest things. If you reach out to him constantly, he does not have any chance to miss you. Instead, give your special person a reason and some time to miss you.

How do you turn the tables and make him chase you? ›

Turning the Tables: Get a Guy to Chase You in 6 Simple Steps
  1. Don't Try to Win Him Over.
  2. Be Mysterious.
  3. Hold Off From Calling or Texting Him.
  4. Flirt with Him.
  5. Don't Give Him the Impression He is The Only Guy in the Picture.
Jun 23, 2020

Why silence is powerful with a man? ›

Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.

What to do when he suddenly goes cold? ›

10 ways to respond when a guy suddenly goes cold on you
  1. 1) Be patient. ...
  2. 2) Don't take it personally. ...
  3. 3) Don't judge. ...
  4. 4) Let go of his actions and look at them from his point of view. ...
  5. 5) Don't go after him until you know where he stands. ...
  6. 6) Remember that this is his loss — not yours.
Apr 12, 2022

What to do when he goes silent for days? ›

How do you deal with a man who goes silent?
  1. Take a step back and give him some space. ...
  2. Try to stay calm. ...
  3. Focus on yourself. ...
  4. Have an honest conversation. ...
  5. Don't wait around indefinitely. ...
  6. Trust your intuition. ...
  7. Re-build your self-esteem.

Will a guy text everyday if he likes you? ›

Yes, guys with a crush will tend to text you a ton.

It's not an automatic given that he likes you if he's texting a lot, but it's definitely a big possibility. You can tell he likes you if he: Messages you throughout the day. A guy who likes you will text a lot—even when they're busy.

Do guys like goodnight texts? ›

Further, a lot of guys like getting goodnight texts, but may not ask for them outright. It can be important not to overthink what kind of text to send a guy and when to send it. As you get to know the guy more, you can likely discover which kinds of texts he appreciates most.

Why hasn t he messaged me today? ›

A guy may not text you for various reasons. He might be genuinely busy with his life, or something important must be going on with him. However, if you don't hear from him for over a week, he might not be into you anymore and is probably ignoring you.

How do you ask a guy if he's lost interest? ›

You can ask him, “Are you still interested in hanging out together, or would you rather just be friends?” This gets to the heart of the issue and gives him the opportunity to share what he is feeling.

How do you tell he's not interested in me? ›

  • Mar 6, 2023. 9 clear signs that a guy is not into you. ...
  • Lack of effort. If he doesn't try spending time with you or make plans, it's a sign that he's not interested. ...
  • Minimal communication. ...
  • No future plans. ...
  • Avoidance. ...
  • Lack of physical touch. ...
  • No interest in your life. ...
  • No introductions.
Mar 6, 2023

How do I stop checking on someone? ›

Slow ways to get someone out of your head
  1. Forgive to forget. This one is really difficult for many people, but just as essential. ...
  2. Respect yourself. How to stop thinking about someone that you still love? ...
  3. Let yourself feel the pain. ...
  4. Avoid substances. ...
  5. Look forward with excitement. ...
  6. Talk to someone else!
Mar 14, 2021

How do you politely stop someone from texting you? ›

25 effective ways to get someone to stop texting you
  1. Tell them to stop. ...
  2. Ask them to stop. ...
  3. Send only one-word replies. ...
  4. Tell them how you feel. ...
  5. Let them know you're busy. ...
  6. Offer an alternative. ...
  7. Explain boundaries. ...
  8. Speak to them in private.
May 6, 2022

Why does he wait for me to text? ›

He might be hesitant to text you as he's afraid of what could happen or that you'll reject him. It's like he's testing the waters first to see what will happen next. This is hard for guys who have been rejected a couple of times in the past. So to avoid that, he'd rather not message you than risk being rejected again.

How can I stop checking on him? ›

The best thing you can do for your mental health and peace of mind is to unfriend, unfollow, and even block an ex if you find yourself incessantly checking up on them on social media. Avoid following someone that might be in a new relationship with your ex, or that you suspect is in a relationship with them.

How do you remove someone from your heart and mind? ›

The 12 strategies below can help you refresh your focus.
  1. Figure out why. ...
  2. Focus on the facts. ...
  3. Accept instead of reject. ...
  4. Write it down. ...
  5. Find a positive distraction. ...
  6. Work on self-discovery. ...
  7. Prioritize meeting your own needs. ...
  8. Keep a healthy distance.
Nov 20, 2020

How do you get someone out of your mind and heart? ›

If you want to get someone off your mind, you must distract yourself, and the best way to do it is to engage in other activities. You can switch to hobbies, spend time with your close ones, travel, or take on new challenges. Even when you don't feel like doing those things, just begin.

How do I stop texting a guy without being rude? ›

5 Ways To Stop Yourself From Texting The Guy You Know Is Bad For You
  1. Delete His Number. This is option number one, and it's the easiest, so start here if you're serious about never texting this guy again. ...
  2. Change His Name In Your Contact List. ...
  3. Block Him. ...
  4. Download An App. ...
  5. Hate Them.
Jul 5, 2017

How long will a man wait for a woman he loves? ›

According to a large 2022 study, men tend to say “I love you” more quickly than women. It takes men an average of 108 days (about 4 months) to confess love and women an average of around 123 days (about 4 months).

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